‘Google Maps has made watching ‘The Zombie Mall’ so easy and safe that it’s difficult to conceptualize the danger it represents. ‘The Mall’ originates from the outskirts of Bedford, Nebraska and was called ‘Eagle Mall,’ in a vague nod to patriotism. ‘Eagle Mall’ remains the core of what it has become now: a sprawling and useless structure, still suckling electricity from the grid despite several attempts to disconnect it. The meta-parasitic denizens have established elaborate redundancies the ensure the mall has at least the bare minimum required to support itself and, thus, them. They welcome visitors who follow their ‘laws’ and maintain a fairly healthy trade of organically produced vegetables, marijuana, and ultraviolet koi fish. Those who defy them are offered a choice: banishment to the outside world or some form of restorative justice, approved by a council of trained therapists.
All right, so ‘The Zombie Mall’ might be something like a living utopia and further research suggests the undead connotation may have been the result of a smear campaign championed by local governments. ‘The Zombie Mall’ is certainly and illegally encroaching upon the lands of those governments but it seems to be improving them. Crime rates in ‘The Mall’ are low, at least, and poverty is unheard of.
As a tendril of ‘The Zombie Mall’ approaches the outskirts of the capitol, residents of Lincoln are divided. Some believe ‘The Mall’ is a threat, the other believes it is a savior, and both sides believe the opposition represents a sort of death cult mentality. Crime in the city is up as people come to blows over the issue. Families are building mall-proof bunkers which, realistically, will provide residential spaces for mall citizens when it inevitably rolls over the land.
Until that day, it’s recommended that travelers avoid the outskirts of Lincoln, where everyone seems determined to prove the tired zombie trope that humans are the real monsters.
Do visit ‘The Zombie Mall,’ though. It may be the safest place in the world.’
-an excerpt, Autumn by the Wayside
