There is an emphasis on safety at the ‘Jump Zoo’ that, in some ways, is very reassuring. Displays suggest that the trampolines are regularly maintained and rated at astronomically high weight limits. There are pictures of the owner dropping loaded dumbbells so heavy that the lower terminating curve nearly crushes a golden monkey in its cage below. Which brings me to my next thought. 

There’s not much emphasis on animal welfare.

‘A private collection, and not one of the nice ones, ‘The Jump Zoo’ has designed its habitats to be directly under a series of wide and angled trampolines on which visitors can bounce between exhibits. The advertised thrill, here, is that of seeming to plummet toward a lion’s den or an army of angry chimpanzees, and the animals are, by and large, very angry seeming. ‘The Jump Zoo’ prides itself on not having any of those ‘zombie’ animals, here meaning those creatures that have taken to confinement so poorly that they begin to pace. No, ‘The Jump Zoo’s’ animals are active and that activity is decidedly hostile toward the sky humans that float wildly above them eight hours a day.’

It doesn’t feel good, doing what ‘The Jump Zoo’ says is normal. I try for a while above the polar bear, hoping the adrenaline will offset the overall feelings of regret for having paid for the ticket. The bear takes some half-hearted swipes at my heels but the both of us recognize I’m far out of reach. I try, instead, for a more extreme trampoline experience: a tower surrounded by netting at the center of the park. I emerge at the top to find I’m jumping over the head of a giraffe. It flinches with each bounce. A woman joins me for a while and, in an attempt to catch a selfie, spills her drink onto the trampoline. The soda mats down the giraffe’s fur and the woman asks me if I think they’ll do a free refill. 

There is a small section of the park near the end that invites visitors to lie back under a trampoline. This is to prove that the experience isn’t quite so miserable as it seems- that the trampolines actually provide sunshade and entertainment to the animals. The area below is sexually charged in a way that makes me immediately uncomfortable. ‘The Jump Zoo’ is a wash. A terrible place for people and animals alike. 

-traveler