‘The Wayside’s sense of the exclusive is almost always tied to the fleeting nature of time and physicality rather than the healthy foresight of its business owners. Its attractions are exclusive for their failure to capture the sporadic whimsy of roadside travelers- for their failure to survive in unwelcoming terrain. For this reason, there are few truly exclusive destinations in these pages, though most might qualify as fragile or temporary.
Of the truly exclusive, one might consider the inconspicuously named ‘Salutations Sports Bar’ in eastern Washington. Though ‘Salutations’ is open to the public, the core experience is available only by securing a reservation months beforehand. The reservation process is complex in its own right, requiring detailed personal information and access to social media accounts and lifestyle apps. In case a potential visitor uses neither, phone interviews are conducted with members of ‘Salutations’’ research staff to fill informational gaps. They run anywhere from four to eight hours long.
The culmination of this hassle is a pre-determined day, far in the future, on which the applicant can enter ‘Salutations’ and expect to be greeted by staff and regulars as though they are a regular as well. On that evening, everyone will know the patron’s name and will talk or tease about their preferred sports team or political affiliation and refer to the plights and shenanigans of close relatives as though they, too, occasionally frequented the bar. It is the sincerest ‘welcome home’ a person can receive from strangers in a strange place and it is sometimes booked out a year in advance.
How odd it must be to happen upon ‘Salutations’ and stop in for a drink, unaware of the business’ gimmick, to be a customer who learns of the one-night hero through context alone- leaves thinking they’ve brushed shoulders with one of the world’s few important people.’
Back when I still sold Graycards out of the truck I held a decent little stash of money and an inflated sense of financial security. It’s been a long time since I’ve had cash like that but it’s been even longer since I’ve been called by my name. The greeting at ‘Salutations’ is almost too much. The staff, professionals that they are, must read it on my face because they ease up a little and focus in on Hector while I recover.
I spend the evening talking, just talking, until my voice is hoarse.
-traveler
