‘‘Big Bed Private Sanctuary’ has taken a few forms in the years since its inception. Originally a roadside novelty like any other, ‘Biggest Bed Global’ was just that: the world’s biggest bed as certified by the usual Guinness-style record talliers. When a larger bed was constructed in New Zealand for the filming of 1997’s ‘Bedland Bedlam,’ the owners of ‘Big Bed Global’ honored the defeat by striking all claims to the title from their advertising (forgoing, even, ‘Big Bed USA) and sending a formal letter of congratulations to the filmmakers (who did not respond).
‘Big Bed USA’ rebranded, instead, as ‘Big Bed Park’- a sort of kitschy rest stop that featured a cozily-themed play area upon the once sparse, bed-like structure that no longer qualified as the biggest bed. It worked, for a while, establishing itself not only as a sustainable feature of the Wayside (financially speaking), but as a migration point for endangered songbirds and, eventually, for bees, which built nests along the wooden underside and rarely interacted with life on the top.
The birds and the bees were its undoing.
In 2005, ‘Big Bed Park’ was listed as ‘number four’ in the ‘top ten places to have a budget date in South Utah.’ It became a romantic spot, then a hook-up spot, and eventually a place for police to patrol. When, in 2009, a mutilated body was discovered off the ‘foot’ side of the bed, police called it a lover’s quarrel and, though its natural ecosystem continued to thrive, the resultant articles described ‘Big Bed’ in its worst terms. It was ordered to close and that’s when the killing started in earnest.
It turns out something else had found a home beneath the bed- an unseen, but monstrously violent species that previously nested under, and was therefore constrained by, the standard domestic bed. Having grown to size under ‘Big Bed Park,’ these creatures were more than capable of hunting those travelers unfortunate enough to stop near the fence- more than capable of dragging their bodies back to ‘Big Bed’ for reasons that are unclear to this day. A conservationist group stepped in to block the imminent demolition of ‘Big Bed Park,’ rightly pointing out that these creatures were unique to the area and therefore an endangered species. ‘Big Bed Park’ became ‘Big Bed State Sanctuary’ and is now open only to small, scheduled groups of cryptozoologists and very wealthy donors. The creatures seem content with the attention they receive and kill sparingly.
-an excerpt, Autumn by the Wayside
