‘Richard Langley of Canton, Mississippi claims to be the nation’s oldest living man, though no authority has yet graced him with the title. By his account, and by the account of a tattered document, ‘Dick’ is 154 years old and an 89-year citizen of the United States. The document is nigh unreadable but the man looks the part- looks older even. Dick Langley aches with age and the world aches around him, his floorboards creaking- the spines of his books (and his back) twisted with the long burden of life. His is not the story of a man that lives well into his hundreds, but of a man that lives unwell, that lives nonetheless.
Due to Dick’s inability (and now, unwillingness) to verify his age with any legal institution, the man’s claims only serve as an introduction to his small, roadside collection of teeth. The collection is a mere 85 pieces but each (excepting one) has been genetically verified to be a Dick Langley original- the initial 20 baby teeth, the full set of adults, and then a third set of haunting bones that grew into Dick’s mouth beginning in his 126th year. ‘Dick’s Senior Teeth’ are milky and vaguely translucent, their tips ragged like an old dish towel. One is streaked red throughout, some stray nerve or blood vessel that remains sealed up in the dense enamel. Another is curved like an elephant tusk and hollowed by a deep cavity.
There are pictures of the teeth coming in, all the blood and pain of a child’s teething in the mouth of an old man. Copies of Dick’s dentist reports are spiral-bound and available as a perk of the ‘show.’ They detail astonishment, mostly (“Where are they coming from?”) and concerns for the man’s health (“…suggests removing them may be as dangerous as leaving them in.”). They come to few conclusions before Dick runs out of money and spends the following decade with his new set. As we know by now, these too will eventually loosen at their anchors.
The one tooth in the collection that doesn’t belong to Dick arrived in his mailbox in 2007, as twisted and malformed as his own. The sender, a woman in the Ukraine, claims to be 134 and has gone through the same oral molting.
‘Dick’s Senior Teeth’ is an uncomfortable attraction. The facilities are unkempt and Dick himself is hardly a draw, so near death he seems to be. Despite its welcome mat, an entrance into ‘Dick’s Senior Teeth’ feels like an intrusion and the sight of the teeth will leave even the hardiest traveler’s jaw itching for some time after.’
A plague of detours means I arrive at Dick’s too late, the man having passed away in the night.
-traveler
